


Hit Like a Girl

by AndreaDTX



Series: Lady Spider, Little Spider [2]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Fluff, Gen, Slice of Life, Tower Life, avengers fluff, super family, training fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-04
Updated: 2019-08-04
Packaged: 2020-07-30 17:27:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,115
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20100925
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AndreaDTX/pseuds/AndreaDTX
Summary: No matter what role they fill in the Avengers, safety protocols dictate all members must rate at least intermediate-level on the combat and self-defense certification, no matter how unlikely getting into an actual fight is. For most of the team, this evaluation is a cake walk, not even enough to work up a sweat compared to their day to day activity. But Peter’s not so sure. He’s may be a superhero, but not the action hero type like the others.  Because of his age and size, he’s paired with Natasha. That's totally not a terrible idea...





	Hit Like a Girl

Peter’s not a front-line fighter. When he thinks of hand to hand, he thinks of Captain America and Black Widow or maybe even bruisers like Thor and The Hulk. He might classify closer to a flyer like Falcon or Iron Man, even though that might be overselling, considering he’s just webbing from one place to another. Really, he’d probably be better described as be a precision striker like Hawkeye, better at a distance.

But apparently even if he thought his chances of getting into fist fight are on par with his odds of winning the lottery, the Avengers required everyone in the tower to have close quarters training.

“I get that it’s important, but if there was really a fight, I’d web out of there,” Peter points out only to yelp as a shock stings through his wrists.

“That’s an EMP,” Mr. Stark says, lowering his gauntlet-covered hand. “Now your web shooters are down for the count and you’re surrounded by skilled fighters. What do you do, Pete? What _doooo _you _do_?”

Agent Coulson clears his throat firmly to get their attention. He stands out amongst the group, wearing a suit and holding a clipboard while everyone else is sporting various workout gear.

“Mr. Parker, I understand that your usual strategy is to use your webs from a distance which I enthusiastically endorse. However, if a worst-case scenario strikes, we need to know that you can defend yourself long enough for help to get to you.”

That logic is hard to argue with.

“Fine,” Peter mutters with as much teenage angst as he can muster.

“Excellent,” Coulson says, ignoring the attitude. He turns and speaks to the group. “You’ll be broken into pairs. Here are your assignments.”

It ends up with Steve versus Thor, Tony versus Clint, and Natasha versus Peter. Bruce is exempt for obvious reasons.

“Wait. Shouldn’t I be paired with…” Peter looks around quickly. Not Thor. He’d crush Peter without even meaning to. Ditto with Captain Rogers. And he’d die of embarrassment if he accidentally punched Mr. Stark in the face or something.

“Mr. Hawkeye…?” Peter finishes hesitantly. He didn’t actually think he could take the part-time superhero/ part-time secret agent in a fight.

“Sorry, kid,” the archer says with a cocky grin. “I’m four inches taller and thirty pounds heavier. Wouldn’t be a fair fight. And I’ve told you a million times, it’s Clint.”

Peter tries again. “But won’t most of the baddies we fight be about your size? Or even bigger?”

Clint nods. “Yep. Which is why it’s even more important that Stark here gets a lot of practice taking on someone around my size in case his suit goes offline.”

“My suit would never go offline,” Tony says confidently, then shrugs. “But hey, it never hurts to be prepared for the impossible.”

Clint squints at Peter. “You got a problem with sparring Nat?”

Natasha is standing off to the side, wrapping her hands in a way that’s may or may not be intentionally menacingly. She’s pretending not to be following the conversation, but Peter’s not dumb enough to fall for that.

But before he can come up with a decent excuse, Clint’s face sobers and he lowers his voice.

“Hey, man, if you’re worried about, like… ‘physical reactions’… she’ll totally understand. She spars with us all the time. It’s totally normal.”

The others quickly chime in with reassurances.

“It’s just adrenaline…”

“…nothing to be ashamed of…”

“… a sign of manhood!”

It’s absolutely horrifying. Like, Peter’s pretty sure he’s had nightmares that went just like this.

“Nonono!” he blurts frantically. “I mean, yes, maybe, but no… I just…”

He takes a deep breath, trying to figure out how to tactfully explain it.

“I can’t… I can’t hit a…” he whispers, stopping before the words pass his lips, but everyone knows what he was going to say.

Mr. Stark’s mouth curls in a deviously amused smile and Peter belatedly realized he’s said exactly the wrong thing. “Oh, Pedro. I thought you were an enlightened member of Gen Z.”

“I’d get over that real quick,” Clint says with a disbelieving laugh, “or she’ll desensitize you the way she did the rest of us.”

“Desensitize me?”

Clint nods.

“When we first met, Tasha was only about 16. I knew she was trained to be destruction on legs, but I still was always trying to take it easy on her without really meaning to, ya know?” he says with a rueful smile. “To help me get over that, she’d punch me in the kidneys every time she caught me with my guard down until I learned to consider her as big a threat as any guy.”

Tony scoffs out a laugh. “She limited herself to kidney punches with you? She did that running jump thigh hold flippy thing to me three different times before I had enough and tried to blast her.”

Captain Rogers laughs. “Every time I called her ma’am she tried to knee me in the groin.”

Peter turns to Natasha who’s no longer bothering to pretend not to know they’re talking about her.

“You kneed Captain America?” he asks incredulously.

She shrugs. “Only the once, really. He has pretty decent reflexes to go with those old-fashioned manners.”

They all turn to Thor who gives a proud smile.

“Only a fool would discount Lady Natasha’s skill. Some of Asgard’s greatest warriors are women. My shield mate Lady Sif is well known throughout the Nine Realms for her battle prowess.”

Natasha gives him a pleased smile. “And that’s why he’s unscathed. So far.”

“Did he just call us all fools?” Tony asks with a squinty glare.

Thor continues to smile and doesn’t answer.

“Come on, Petya,” she says with a mischievous smile and heads towards the mat. “You’ll be fine.”

Peter gulps and follows her, ignoring the knowing laughs from the rest of the group.

* * *

An hour later, he’s exhausted and sprawled across the mat. Natasha is sporting a light sheen. While she didn’t go all out like she might’ve with Cap or Thor, she didn’t take it easy on him. She’s made sure he can throw a solid punch as well as deflect one. She’s _thoroughly _tested his ability to dodge, jump, kick, and roll, and he can _almost _break that thigh chokehold, although he’ll admit that he probably could do it if the positioning wasn’t so inherently distracting.

“Excellent work, Mr. Parker,” Coulson says with a pleased smile. “You now certify as intermediate in self-defense.”

“Congratulations, Petey,” Mr. Stark says, amusement coloring his voice. “You probably won’t immediately die in a fight.”

“Good news indeed,” Thor booms sincerely.

“Good job, _melky,_” Natasha says affectionately and helps him limp off the mat.


End file.
